Funder Facilitation
I do not think I could ever prepare for the fact that one of our most highly screened funders was going to lead us through a yoga session in her living room. But that is exactly what happened.
And that moment taught me something I will never forget. It taught me the power of facilitation.
It is a problem if you do not have a facilitation framework to guide funder conversations in a way that's true to who you are.
Most people fall somewhere on a spectrum when it comes to facilitating funder conversations. On one side are people who feel really confident. They know exactly what to do, they trust themselves, and sometimes that confidence is so high they don’t even care much about how the experience goes. They just lean all the way in.
On the other side are people who feel nervous and second-guess themselves. Imposter syndrome kicks in. Thoughts start racing. There can even be some quiet judgment toward the person across the table. Not for who they are, but for what they represent. Maybe they built wealth as a capitalist or an investor while the work you are doing is about people impacted by systemic issues. Or it swings the other way and there is a sense of awe. Seeing how much money they have, how connected they are, how much influence they hold, can leave someone feeling a little starstruck.
I have sat in both of those places. And my first real funder meeting showed me why facilitation matters so much.
At the time, I had very little experience with major donors. I had raised some money in the startup world, so I had this “I got this” mindset. But if I am honest, it was more like standing in front of the mirror saying “I got this, I got this” while deep down I had no idea what was about to happen.
This funder had shown up in our screening software as someone who had given millions of dollars. So of course, in my head, this person was going to be larger than life. But when we pulled up, the house looked totally average. And when the door opened, there she was. A sweet elderly lady. And I remember thinking, wait a minute, on paper you look like you have more money than Kendrick Lamar, but in person I am getting the coolest grandma vibes.
It didn't help that I came over-prepared for this meeting. I had stacks of papers, facts, budgets for the capital campaign, all of it. My hope is that it would show her me and my executive director at the time were there for business. When I slid them across the table, she glanced at the stack and then slowly slid it right back to the edge of the table. Out of reach.
And then she started facilitating us. Guiding us. She asked questions not just about our work, but our lives. At some point, we somehow were talking about how I sweat buckets during yoga. Seriously, I usually have four or five towels around me when I go to any yoga class. She looked at me and said, “That means you are not doing it right. Get up.”
Next thing I know, I am standing in her living room. My executive director stood up with me. And there we were, being led through yoga poses by one of our top screened donors. Ten minutes later, she smiled and said, “See, just ten minutes. You do not need to go crazy.”
Afterwards, she guided us through some conversations about impact, about people, and before we knew it that was the meeting.
I remember getting in the car thinking, wasn't I supposed to facilitate a good time for her? She made us feel like a thousand bucks! Then I started to worry if we even did our job of cultivating the relationship for a philanthropic gift.
Four months later, she emailed and said she had transferred a few hundred shares of Costco stock. That gift came out to be about a quarter million dollars.
She taught me the power of funder facilitation. That I did not need to have everything over-prepared in order to create an environment people wanted to be in. And now I realize the power of having a few simple frameworks to use when facilitating meetings with funders, foundations, and anyone who has the capacity to back your organization.
Funder facilitation skills are especially important to have during this moment in history.